The answering machine
[ 2007-06-12 08:24 ]
中國(guó)家庭并不常用電話(huà)答錄機(jī)（Answering Machine),但在北美家庭，幾乎家家都用。外來(lái)電話(huà)撥入時(shí)，若該電話(huà)號(hào)碼的主人不在，就會(huì)讓撥入者聽(tīng)到一段留言，這叫Answer。絕大多數(shù)的Answer都是千篇一律的：說(shuō)明主人不在，請(qǐng)撥入者留下簡(jiǎn)短信息及姓名電話(huà)號(hào)碼等。
以下幾則特別的Answer體現(xiàn)了美國(guó)人的幽默，你能體會(huì)出其幽默所在嗎？
(1) Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me
money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(2) Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets.
(3) Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with
her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything
cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
(4) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their pictures
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get
back to you.
(5) Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
(6) Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
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